I went through a phase a few months back and I could listen to this track on repeat for hours, singing along, longing for something. I haven’t had time to be longing in a while because life got too busy. But the last couple of weeks I’ve been longing again and it’s hard and it hurts and it’s such a terrible lonely feeling when you’re longing for things you can’t even find the words to explain. There are some very specific things that we are longing for right now and waiting for answers on, but there is such a vast pull for things I can’t identify. And maybe I’m not supposed to. God and I have had some good screaming crying car rides lately. And we all know it’s true because I’ve spend the last three weekends driving back and forth between where I’m living now and the other places I’ve called home. I know that these feelings will pass and that he’s using them to draw me closer but knowing that in my mind doesn’t affect the feelings of my heart.
He has given me countless reasons to sing, but right now when I try, my voice cracks and tears stream and the singing has become a quiet hum of perserverance. But the melody is still there.